You Can't Wake, I Can't Sleep

The Heath Ledger thing shocked me more than it should have, made me shriek "WHAT?!" to my empty room

We are all so, so fragile. How do we keep forgetting that?

A picture someone posted of tiny Matilda clutching onto Heath's pant leg was pretty much heartbreaking.

I'm not gonna pretend his life had any more value than the millions who are dying all over the world ( i don't believe being talented makes you a more valuable human being) and yet it's such a jarring, sad thing to find out that someone who in whatever form you just took for granted was going to be hovering around the periphery of your life suddenly is being referred to as "the corpse". Like a reminder that the ground is always shifting and everything is always subject to change.

Anyway, he seemed like a nice guy and I hope he finds whatever peace may have been eluding him in the next world.

Lips once warm against my own
Now forever cold
Moments I lingered by phones
But there would always be another day
I imagined you and she allied against me, laughing
So that kept me away
When I found out you were happy with someone new
I was jealous and resentful
And I thought "Why am I always a pit stop on the way to everyone's true love?"
When you broke up, I felt...relieved.
If I knew how deep the knife was twisting, well, I wouldn't have.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I never fought to keep you as a friend.
I'm sorry I didn't want things to work out with you and that girl.
I'm sorry that you obliterated a world of possibilities
with your own hands, the hands that once fit so perfectly in mine.
I'm sorry I said I hated you behind your back after we were over.
I'm sorry I didn't try harder to understand you.
I know I was a minor player in the drama of your life, but for whatever damage I did carelessly inflict along the way, I'm sorry.