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He left and the world turned gray. Nothing made her laugh anymore and she thought she never would again. She stopped bothering to pretend she was the same. Perky took too much energy. Her hair went unwashed and her roots grew in. She spent a lot of time staring at walls, and wondered why she never noticed what a depressing place Arkham actually was.
Their sessions had been the highlight of her days. He had made her laugh until her stomach hurt and looked at her in a way that made her want nothing more from this life than to be reflected in the inky pools of his eyes forever. She had forgotten her other ambitions long ago. He had ruined her, left her a mere husk of her former self. She would never be the next Dr. Laura or write a bestselling book. Whatever had made her desire these things in the first place had been decimated by a sly smile, a wry turn of phrase, a low and menacing laugh. Maybe she should have been bitter about the change, but love changed people. And she was so in love it was unbearable.
As much as she might yearn for the girl she used to be, confidant and carefree, she also knew that life hadn't really meant anything. This suffering made her real, dragged her down from the sky and through the dirt, leaving her bruised and breathless. Her whole life, things had come easy to her. It felt strangely good to want, to ache, to be tested. And he would return and then she would prove her worth, once and for all.
Their sessions had been the highlight of her days. He had made her laugh until her stomach hurt and looked at her in a way that made her want nothing more from this life than to be reflected in the inky pools of his eyes forever. She had forgotten her other ambitions long ago. He had ruined her, left her a mere husk of her former self. She would never be the next Dr. Laura or write a bestselling book. Whatever had made her desire these things in the first place had been decimated by a sly smile, a wry turn of phrase, a low and menacing laugh. Maybe she should have been bitter about the change, but love changed people. And she was so in love it was unbearable.
As much as she might yearn for the girl she used to be, confidant and carefree, she also knew that life hadn't really meant anything. This suffering made her real, dragged her down from the sky and through the dirt, leaving her bruised and breathless. Her whole life, things had come easy to her. It felt strangely good to want, to ache, to be tested. And he would return and then she would prove her worth, once and for all.
I wrote Mean Girls slash for porn battle muahaha!
Click me!
It happened so quickly. One minute, they were making out like two normal drunk high school girls and the next, Regina's hand was sliding up Karen's thigh, underneath her skirt.
Karen pulled away from the kiss and gasped. "What are you doing?"
Regina's face reddened. "Having a good time. What do you think I'm doing?" Her hand stopped it's journey and remained sitting on top of Karen's thigh.
"Well it kind of seems like you're-" Karen lowered her voice to a whisper. "Acting like a lesbian."
"Don't be stupid!" Regina snapped, drawing her hand back. "Janis Ian is a lesbian. I'm...just...exploring."
Karen lay back on the bed and thought about this. Now, she definitely wasn't an expert on sexology or anything, but she did happen to catch part of an episode of "The L Word" once, and it really seemed like Regina was acting like a lesbian. She tried to think back on her sex ed classes. Did they ever cover what to do when your best friend tried to...do stuff to you? All she remembered was Chlamydia. You didn't want to get that.
Of course, she didn't want Regina to be angry with her. But if Regina did stuff to her, wouldn't that make her a lesbian? It was okay to be a lesbian when you were older if you were glamorous and pretty, but it was definitely not okay to be a lesbian in high school.
That's it! she decided. She would let Regina do whatever she wanted, but she wouldn't enjoy it. Then she could still be straight.
With a bright smile, she sat up and pulled Regina to her, kissing her hard and letting her hands tangle in her hair.
Regina's fingers slid back up her thigh and inside her panties. Karen giggled. It felt weird. She could feel Regina's perfectly manicured fingernails against her skin. Her fingers were slender and they slid inside her effortlessly, darting in and out and making her breath hitch.
She wasn't supposed to be enjoying this! Oh no! This was a one way ticket to Lesbian Land for sure. Now she would never get to sleep with her first cousin! She might have to start dressing like Janis Ian. The thought made her slightly nauseated. But...oh...fingers....she couldn't stop herself from grinding down on them. It felt so amazing!
She grabbed Regina again and pulled her in for a kiss, biting and sucking at her lower lip as she squirmed beneath her. Finally she came, wriggling around desperately, her hands having found their way under the back of Regina's shirt, fingernails digging into her lower back.
Regina rolled off her and they both stared at the ceiling in silence for a minute.
"So, are you like my girlfriend now?" Karen finally asked, realizing she didn't half mind the idea.
Regina rolled over and groaned, burying her face in her pillow. Karen was lucky she was so pretty.
"On our next date, you're supposed to bring a U Haul. I heard that somewhere. What's a U Haul?"
Click me!
It happened so quickly. One minute, they were making out like two normal drunk high school girls and the next, Regina's hand was sliding up Karen's thigh, underneath her skirt.
Karen pulled away from the kiss and gasped. "What are you doing?"
Regina's face reddened. "Having a good time. What do you think I'm doing?" Her hand stopped it's journey and remained sitting on top of Karen's thigh.
"Well it kind of seems like you're-" Karen lowered her voice to a whisper. "Acting like a lesbian."
"Don't be stupid!" Regina snapped, drawing her hand back. "Janis Ian is a lesbian. I'm...just...exploring."
Karen lay back on the bed and thought about this. Now, she definitely wasn't an expert on sexology or anything, but she did happen to catch part of an episode of "The L Word" once, and it really seemed like Regina was acting like a lesbian. She tried to think back on her sex ed classes. Did they ever cover what to do when your best friend tried to...do stuff to you? All she remembered was Chlamydia. You didn't want to get that.
Of course, she didn't want Regina to be angry with her. But if Regina did stuff to her, wouldn't that make her a lesbian? It was okay to be a lesbian when you were older if you were glamorous and pretty, but it was definitely not okay to be a lesbian in high school.
That's it! she decided. She would let Regina do whatever she wanted, but she wouldn't enjoy it. Then she could still be straight.
With a bright smile, she sat up and pulled Regina to her, kissing her hard and letting her hands tangle in her hair.
Regina's fingers slid back up her thigh and inside her panties. Karen giggled. It felt weird. She could feel Regina's perfectly manicured fingernails against her skin. Her fingers were slender and they slid inside her effortlessly, darting in and out and making her breath hitch.
She wasn't supposed to be enjoying this! Oh no! This was a one way ticket to Lesbian Land for sure. Now she would never get to sleep with her first cousin! She might have to start dressing like Janis Ian. The thought made her slightly nauseated. But...oh...fingers....she couldn't stop herself from grinding down on them. It felt so amazing!
She grabbed Regina again and pulled her in for a kiss, biting and sucking at her lower lip as she squirmed beneath her. Finally she came, wriggling around desperately, her hands having found their way under the back of Regina's shirt, fingernails digging into her lower back.
Regina rolled off her and they both stared at the ceiling in silence for a minute.
"So, are you like my girlfriend now?" Karen finally asked, realizing she didn't half mind the idea.
Regina rolled over and groaned, burying her face in her pillow. Karen was lucky she was so pretty.
"On our next date, you're supposed to bring a U Haul. I heard that somewhere. What's a U Haul?"
Foamy bubbles dripped from her fingertips. She watched them fall back to the bath, float on the surface, merge with the others. She felt clean and pink and rose-scented in her clean, pink, rose-scented bathroom. She thought of the dirt beneath his fingernails, little half-crescents of black, his lank, greasy hair and the scent of grease paint like carnivals, loud music and surprises. She liked surprises, things that went boom and gave her adrenaline giggles. She liked the gnarls of his smile scars, how they told a story and it didn't matter which story it was. Her perfect pout said nothing.
She could carve a smile like a Jack-o-Lantern too and it would sting and drip. Pain was good. She wouldn't look pretty, she wouldn't look harmless. Maybe respected or feared. She liked jokes, but she didn't like being one. Not the bimbo they all said slept her way through school. No more "colleagues" grabbing her ass, laughing at the way she talked. If they only knew who she was. She would be the one laughing. His laugh was sexier though. Deep and throaty and good.
She wanted him. She wanted his dirt and his grease and his danger, yes, his danger - dirty fingers snaking into her clean white cotton panties, twisting inside her and marking her insides. He would make her someone else - someone dark and exciting. And she would be his forever. She would no longer be her own. The thought made her feel free. The weight of carrying herself had been tearing away at her for so long. She could be an offering, a sacrifice, a pile at his feet. He would pick her up and make her into something new, something better.
She could carve a smile like a Jack-o-Lantern too and it would sting and drip. Pain was good. She wouldn't look pretty, she wouldn't look harmless. Maybe respected or feared. She liked jokes, but she didn't like being one. Not the bimbo they all said slept her way through school. No more "colleagues" grabbing her ass, laughing at the way she talked. If they only knew who she was. She would be the one laughing. His laugh was sexier though. Deep and throaty and good.
She wanted him. She wanted his dirt and his grease and his danger, yes, his danger - dirty fingers snaking into her clean white cotton panties, twisting inside her and marking her insides. He would make her someone else - someone dark and exciting. And she would be his forever. She would no longer be her own. The thought made her feel free. The weight of carrying herself had been tearing away at her for so long. She could be an offering, a sacrifice, a pile at his feet. He would pick her up and make her into something new, something better.
I'm watching this movie "Kicking and Screaming" and omg Olivia D'Abo is soooooo sdkjfkdjfkdsjfkdfj -ing adorable in it I can't stand it!! Her character is cutest thing ever! I am having a major crush fit! Remember when she was a lesbian on Party of Five? That was so swoony!
I should be really stressed out actually about all these major revisions for next week which I haven't started yet but I'm in that weird place where I'm too drained to expend the energy it takes to be stressed.
I should be really stressed out actually about all these major revisions for next week which I haven't started yet but I'm in that weird place where I'm too drained to expend the energy it takes to be stressed.
Woo! The content strike is over and I only slipped once and left one comment :p
I have been editing my screenplay, which is over 300 pages without an ending. I guess I couldn't leave it behind.
I'm having a bad reaction to my thyroid medication again meaning all my joints are terribly stiff and achy, even the ones in my fingers and my muscles are quite sore. It went away on its own before so I'm trying to ride it out. I'm not up for a medication switch, though it may prove necessary. It's only been a few days though.
So I wrote this today. Fanfic-y poemness for Effy (Skins):
Doll:
she's a porcelain doll
cold to the touch
all sharp edges
her razor blade smile
is a flicker in the dark
on her way down
her teeth catch on your heart
she's a tinfoil tiara
and last night's make up
smeared across your pillow
she makes self destruction beautiful
she makes you want to come
(along)
skip and trip into oblivion
skin your knees
in the service of your queen
lose your fingers in the dark of her hair
her waves twirled around your finger
can be so misleading
strange vampire child speaking in flame
speaking in fingers
which travel your body
claiming you
staining you
now hers completely
her eyes gleam like gemstones
and she grins like a cat
with a half-dead bird hanging
from her lips
I have been editing my screenplay, which is over 300 pages without an ending. I guess I couldn't leave it behind.
I'm having a bad reaction to my thyroid medication again meaning all my joints are terribly stiff and achy, even the ones in my fingers and my muscles are quite sore. It went away on its own before so I'm trying to ride it out. I'm not up for a medication switch, though it may prove necessary. It's only been a few days though.
So I wrote this today. Fanfic-y poemness for Effy (Skins):
Doll:
she's a porcelain doll
cold to the touch
all sharp edges
her razor blade smile
is a flicker in the dark
on her way down
her teeth catch on your heart
she's a tinfoil tiara
and last night's make up
smeared across your pillow
she makes self destruction beautiful
she makes you want to come
(along)
skip and trip into oblivion
skin your knees
in the service of your queen
lose your fingers in the dark of her hair
her waves twirled around your finger
can be so misleading
strange vampire child speaking in flame
speaking in fingers
which travel your body
claiming you
staining you
now hers completely
her eyes gleam like gemstones
and she grins like a cat
with a half-dead bird hanging
from her lips
Tags:
To My Sister (Unsent):
Oh angel
(oh milk and honey sister)
I want to tear you from the sky
(I want to tear you from his side)
And does your skin taste like fresh cream?
Are your lips so intoxicating sweet?
I would be gentler than I seem
If ever our two mouths should meet
I could show you things you couldn't imagine
(The French Courts have been plenty educational)
But you would never abide
You would look upon me with more scorn
Than you already do
But sometimes I think I could
Give up my thirst for the Kingdom
If only I could quench it
on the warmth between your thighs
But you will be the one whom I desire
And I will be the one whom you despise
So I'll watch you fall
While you watch me rise
But when I am Queen and shut my lids
All I'll see is the blue of your eyes
You will haunt me like a lover
Though I would never dare touch
You will be my only weakness
And you will never know as much
Oh angel
(oh milk and honey sister)
I want to tear you from the sky
(I want to tear you from his side)
And does your skin taste like fresh cream?
Are your lips so intoxicating sweet?
I would be gentler than I seem
If ever our two mouths should meet
I could show you things you couldn't imagine
(The French Courts have been plenty educational)
But you would never abide
You would look upon me with more scorn
Than you already do
But sometimes I think I could
Give up my thirst for the Kingdom
If only I could quench it
on the warmth between your thighs
But you will be the one whom I desire
And I will be the one whom you despise
So I'll watch you fall
While you watch me rise
But when I am Queen and shut my lids
All I'll see is the blue of your eyes
You will haunt me like a lover
Though I would never dare touch
You will be my only weakness
And you will never know as much
"I don't want to think," she says...well... slurs and it feels like the only true words she's spoken since the accident.
"You don't have to," he says. His hands are moving all over her body and she could be any pretty girl. She's just flesh to him. She never thought she would want this but it's nice. This not having an identity, a history. She could be any pretty girl. One who isn't racked with guilt.
Why had she needed to hear the words so badly? Why was she so insecure? If she had just trusted his feelings, he wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed. She wouldn't be lying in a stranger's bed. She is revolting. Bragging that her calling is "looking shaggable". Pathetic. Isn't she worth more than this? No, she isn't.
The room spins and he shoves into her a little too hard. It hurts but she doesn't cry out. She deserves this. Her name is on his lips but he doesn't make it past the first syllable. She puts her fingers to his lips. "Don't".
He looks confused.
"I'm not anybody," she mutters to the wall. "I'm not anybody."
"You don't have to," he says. His hands are moving all over her body and she could be any pretty girl. She's just flesh to him. She never thought she would want this but it's nice. This not having an identity, a history. She could be any pretty girl. One who isn't racked with guilt.
Why had she needed to hear the words so badly? Why was she so insecure? If she had just trusted his feelings, he wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed. She wouldn't be lying in a stranger's bed. She is revolting. Bragging that her calling is "looking shaggable". Pathetic. Isn't she worth more than this? No, she isn't.
The room spins and he shoves into her a little too hard. It hurts but she doesn't cry out. She deserves this. Her name is on his lips but he doesn't make it past the first syllable. She puts her fingers to his lips. "Don't".
He looks confused.
"I'm not anybody," she mutters to the wall. "I'm not anybody."
The acid sting behind her saccharine smile was growing steadily. Careening dizzily from class to class, she thought "I am a joke to them all". Still, she kept on playing it up - the flakiness, eccentric dumb blonde thing. It amused people. It made them want her around. It made her sickness more palatable - oh! a pun! It became just another Cassie Quirk, nothing sick or desperate or depressing. She was a Good Time Girl, party girl, sunshine and candy floss girl, sweet and sparkle giggle girl. And most of all, Cassie wanted to be liked. But she would never tell you that.
And the three little words that she could never say - no not those words - not "I love you", never "I love you"- she was never that girl. That was all Michelle. No the three words were "I'm not okay". But she wanted them to figure it out and she wanted them to want to help her. She wanted them to say "Look at you! You are killing yourself! Please, please eat something," with concern and not thinly veiled disgust. And it didn't mean she would. But she just needed to hear it. And once she thought someone did care. He said he did. But it was all just more lies.
So she tripped away to her fairy tale land the way she always did. The world became beautiful again. She was Alice in Wonderland, just like that song her parents used to listen to. She was lovely, all flowy blonde hair and skin and bones - pure and weightless, suspended in air. Finally pure, finally free. A Cassiebird flying away into the clouds. And she would never touch down again.
And the three little words that she could never say - no not those words - not "I love you", never "I love you"- she was never that girl. That was all Michelle. No the three words were "I'm not okay". But she wanted them to figure it out and she wanted them to want to help her. She wanted them to say "Look at you! You are killing yourself! Please, please eat something," with concern and not thinly veiled disgust. And it didn't mean she would. But she just needed to hear it. And once she thought someone did care. He said he did. But it was all just more lies.
So she tripped away to her fairy tale land the way she always did. The world became beautiful again. She was Alice in Wonderland, just like that song her parents used to listen to. She was lovely, all flowy blonde hair and skin and bones - pure and weightless, suspended in air. Finally pure, finally free. A Cassiebird flying away into the clouds. And she would never touch down again.
Glass splinters of shattered selves once cast off are scraping from within. You look to the cloudy mirror for salvation and you are dark hair swirling against creamy skin. You let your bangs fall in your eyes and for a moment you are her. The glass is cool when you press your lips to it, absorbing your fever heat.
You can only come when it's her flesh beneath your fingers, her voice crying out in your ears. Your one and only fantasy is of being her and touching her all at once. She said you were pretty. Don't forget that.
She is everything you could never be and everything that matters. You will do anything so long as she keeps you around. Even if it kills you a little knowing that ungrateful bitch, the "actress", is everywhere you should be. But no one is a better actress than you, all sweet smiles and shy glances away. You know in the end she will see your worth, she will see that you fit together perfectly. She couldn't have done it without you. Until then, this will have to do - making love to a cloudy mirror, believing if only the glass were to shatter, she'd be warm and waiting underneath. You could touch her - touch her for real.
You can only come when it's her flesh beneath your fingers, her voice crying out in your ears. Your one and only fantasy is of being her and touching her all at once. She said you were pretty. Don't forget that.
She is everything you could never be and everything that matters. You will do anything so long as she keeps you around. Even if it kills you a little knowing that ungrateful bitch, the "actress", is everywhere you should be. But no one is a better actress than you, all sweet smiles and shy glances away. You know in the end she will see your worth, she will see that you fit together perfectly. She couldn't have done it without you. Until then, this will have to do - making love to a cloudy mirror, believing if only the glass were to shatter, she'd be warm and waiting underneath. You could touch her - touch her for real.
As Jenny talked, Shane found herself studying her lips. The shade of red she had chosen was too harsh against the pallor of her skin. It made her mouth look raw, like a wound. Of course, Jenny often preferred the brazen approach when it came to fashion. And pretty much everything. It was part of what Shane loved about her. She'd definitely never met anyone quite like Jenny before.
Despite the questionable lipstick, the shape of her lips was pleasing and, if they hadn't been attached to one of her best friends, might very well be enticing.
The other night Shane had found herself well..."checking out" Jenny as she was getting dressed for a party. Jenny had totally noticed and they had both laughed about it, chalking it up to her newfound abstinence and consequential horniness.
Still, one really hot threesome later (oops), the image of Jenny's half-naked body silhouetted against the closet door was still etched pretty well in her mind and liked to pop up unexpectedly. It was ridiculous really. They were room mates. And Jenny was definitely not the modest type. She'd seen her naked on more occasions than she could count not even including her brief stripping stint.
But it was a weird moment. Jenny'd seemed almost flirtatious grabbing her own boob jokingly, putting on a little show for her apparent audience. But she was just being Jenny. Whatever weird energy she'd felt pass between them was all in her head - where it would stay. Their friendship was too valuable to her to risk for a fuck. There were lots of girls to fuck. Girls who weren't Jenny. But still, the way she had smiled that night stirred something in Shane she couldn't quite identify. It made her feel awkward and nervous and excited all at once. Like a teenager just experiencing their first kiss. What she imagined that might be like anyway had she been a normal teenager. It made her feel...young. And she couldn't recall ever feeling young before. She wanted to hold onto that feeling. But she would never, ever act on it.
Despite the questionable lipstick, the shape of her lips was pleasing and, if they hadn't been attached to one of her best friends, might very well be enticing.
The other night Shane had found herself well..."checking out" Jenny as she was getting dressed for a party. Jenny had totally noticed and they had both laughed about it, chalking it up to her newfound abstinence and consequential horniness.
Still, one really hot threesome later (oops), the image of Jenny's half-naked body silhouetted against the closet door was still etched pretty well in her mind and liked to pop up unexpectedly. It was ridiculous really. They were room mates. And Jenny was definitely not the modest type. She'd seen her naked on more occasions than she could count not even including her brief stripping stint.
But it was a weird moment. Jenny'd seemed almost flirtatious grabbing her own boob jokingly, putting on a little show for her apparent audience. But she was just being Jenny. Whatever weird energy she'd felt pass between them was all in her head - where it would stay. Their friendship was too valuable to her to risk for a fuck. There were lots of girls to fuck. Girls who weren't Jenny. But still, the way she had smiled that night stirred something in Shane she couldn't quite identify. It made her feel awkward and nervous and excited all at once. Like a teenager just experiencing their first kiss. What she imagined that might be like anyway had she been a normal teenager. It made her feel...young. And she couldn't recall ever feeling young before. She wanted to hold onto that feeling. But she would never, ever act on it.
Okay so after the initial excitement of the screenplay outline, I realized how tired I am of the whole damn thing and that seven years is just too long to be working on something as short as a screenplay - obviously, something hasn't been clicking. I just need to let it go with love and embrace the new. Hopefully a novel of some sort.
These are some books I can read 8,000 times and underline the hell out of and never get tired of -
girl walking backwards, the wrestling party - bett williams
love is the drug - sarahbeth purcell
america the beautiful - moon zappa
wasted - marya hornbacher
prozac nation - elizabeth wurtzel
just checking - emily colas (the best book about ocd ever)
suicide blonde - darcy steinke
(strangely enough, i haven't really liked any of steinke's other books)
my favorite books in highschool were hey dollface and second star to the right both by debra hautzig. hey dollface was the first teen lesbiany book (well any) i had ever read and it's so good. and of course cat's eye by margaret atwood. cat's eye kindof ruled my universe in ninth grade and i made my school best friend, aimee, read it and we passed notes about it in government class. in middle school, i really loved ruth rendell mystery novels.
in sixth grade when i first transferred to hewitt my teachers used to confiscate my books because i would sit by myself and read at lunch in lieu of making friends. the same thing happened to my friend-to-be amanda, who transferred the same year and sometimes we would just sit together and read our books and ignore each other which i thought was bonding enough but alas no. regardless, a great friendship was born which lasted like ten years.
so basically i'm trying to keep myself awake after having stayed up all night so i'm rambling about random things to bore you with.
These are some books I can read 8,000 times and underline the hell out of and never get tired of -
girl walking backwards, the wrestling party - bett williams
love is the drug - sarahbeth purcell
america the beautiful - moon zappa
wasted - marya hornbacher
prozac nation - elizabeth wurtzel
just checking - emily colas (the best book about ocd ever)
suicide blonde - darcy steinke
(strangely enough, i haven't really liked any of steinke's other books)
my favorite books in highschool were hey dollface and second star to the right both by debra hautzig. hey dollface was the first teen lesbiany book (well any) i had ever read and it's so good. and of course cat's eye by margaret atwood. cat's eye kindof ruled my universe in ninth grade and i made my school best friend, aimee, read it and we passed notes about it in government class. in middle school, i really loved ruth rendell mystery novels.
in sixth grade when i first transferred to hewitt my teachers used to confiscate my books because i would sit by myself and read at lunch in lieu of making friends. the same thing happened to my friend-to-be amanda, who transferred the same year and sometimes we would just sit together and read our books and ignore each other which i thought was bonding enough but alas no. regardless, a great friendship was born which lasted like ten years.
so basically i'm trying to keep myself awake after having stayed up all night so i'm rambling about random things to bore you with.
Tags:
My sister bought me vegan pancake dinner at Curly's and a comic book and the new Vanessa Carlton album as pre-birthdayness! *hop*!
Also, if anyone wants it, I uploaded the Harry Potter:Behind The Magic (Order of the Phoenix) special for someone on youtube so it's here:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FXNHSWAQ
Quite entertaining!
Someone has all the Luna scenes up and I was watching them earlier and OMG baby thestral!!!!! I forgot about the total cuteness of baby thestral!!!!! Whyyyyyyy can't I have one??? They are totally my favorite creatures in Potterverse.
I've been threatening to write a BTVS/HP crossover with a Dawn/Luna ship because I love the idea but I can't seem to get started...except in my head Luna is all fascinated by Dawn's California stories and she's like "tell me the one about the bezoar again!" and "tell me about the quellor demon" and then Dawn finds her notebook and she's been writing like "blah blah blah indigenous to Sunnydale" about all the demons and stuff, taking notes and Dawn is all awwww! And that's all I got. Except that being around Luna is soothing and she makes Dawn feel special because she's Dawn and not because she's Buffy's sister and not like a freak cuz she's the Key and Luna thinks it's really cool that she's the key actually and it's all aw and fluffy and unporny. Okay maybe a little bit porny later on. I liked the idea from a story Juliet read about Buffy being the new defense against the dark arts teacher but if I use that I'm totally copying. So I have to find a new reason for Buffy and Co. to be there. But perhaps I'll throw in some Buffy/Snape too since Juliet's converted meeee...
Overheard tonight at Starbucks (while waiting for my drink):
"I can't like you. Whenever I like people, I get hurt. I haven't liked anyone in years because I don't want to. I didn't realize you would end up getting hurt. But how can I like you when you keep on hurting me?"
also:
"I can't believe Jared used to date Mark! But he's not gay!!!"
xoxo
gossip girl
Also, if anyone wants it, I uploaded the Harry Potter:Behind The Magic (Order of the Phoenix) special for someone on youtube so it's here:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FXNHSWAQ
Quite entertaining!
Someone has all the Luna scenes up and I was watching them earlier and OMG baby thestral!!!!! I forgot about the total cuteness of baby thestral!!!!! Whyyyyyyy can't I have one??? They are totally my favorite creatures in Potterverse.
I've been threatening to write a BTVS/HP crossover with a Dawn/Luna ship because I love the idea but I can't seem to get started...except in my head Luna is all fascinated by Dawn's California stories and she's like "tell me the one about the bezoar again!" and "tell me about the quellor demon" and then Dawn finds her notebook and she's been writing like "blah blah blah indigenous to Sunnydale" about all the demons and stuff, taking notes and Dawn is all awwww! And that's all I got. Except that being around Luna is soothing and she makes Dawn feel special because she's Dawn and not because she's Buffy's sister and not like a freak cuz she's the Key and Luna thinks it's really cool that she's the key actually and it's all aw and fluffy and unporny. Okay maybe a little bit porny later on. I liked the idea from a story Juliet read about Buffy being the new defense against the dark arts teacher but if I use that I'm totally copying. So I have to find a new reason for Buffy and Co. to be there. But perhaps I'll throw in some Buffy/Snape too since Juliet's converted meeee...
Overheard tonight at Starbucks (while waiting for my drink):
"I can't like you. Whenever I like people, I get hurt. I haven't liked anyone in years because I don't want to. I didn't realize you would end up getting hurt. But how can I like you when you keep on hurting me?"
also:
"I can't believe Jared used to date Mark! But he's not gay!!!"
xoxo
gossip girl
Tags:
You say any man who practices the principle is selfish
feeling your own heart divided like a war
that doesn't matter to anyone
in some country no one's heard of
she rebukes you but you know she agrees
you have always understood each other
and of course you should have met her first
because you could have made her happier
both of you silently knowing all his failings
that which connects you
is that which divides you
but not the only thing
that keeps you feigning innocence
pretending you don't need her
that her warm brown curls
the warmth of her smile
do not leave you feeling cold in your bed
the only one who understands you
is not the only one you love
so you wait forever
for your lover to recover
and you'll always forgive her
because sleeping on the couch of the other
you are thinking
i should have met her first
and realize sharing a heart might be worse
than sharing a body
and maybe you are halfway to being
the thing you thought you were so much better than
feeling your own heart divided like a war
that doesn't matter to anyone
in some country no one's heard of
she rebukes you but you know she agrees
you have always understood each other
and of course you should have met her first
because you could have made her happier
both of you silently knowing all his failings
that which connects you
is that which divides you
but not the only thing
that keeps you feigning innocence
pretending you don't need her
that her warm brown curls
the warmth of her smile
do not leave you feeling cold in your bed
the only one who understands you
is not the only one you love
so you wait forever
for your lover to recover
and you'll always forgive her
because sleeping on the couch of the other
you are thinking
i should have met her first
and realize sharing a heart might be worse
than sharing a body
and maybe you are halfway to being
the thing you thought you were so much better than
"C'mon, Veronica, you absolutely have to say yes! It's like the only thing i want for my birthday."
Veronica narrowed her eyes at her best friend, studying her. "The only thing you want for your birthday is for me to have a threesome with you and your boyfriend?"
"What? It's Logan, It's not like it's some stranger."
"You don't see how this is creepy?"
Lilly rolled her beautiful blue eyes heavenward. "Please, Veronica, you can be so uptight sometimes."
"What about duncan?"
"Duncan would want me to have an amazing sixteenth birthday."
"That just happened to involve sex with his best friend and his sister?"
"God, do you two tell each other everything? That is so warped. How do you expect to have any mystery in your relationship if you tell each other absolutely -"
"Why me?" Veronica cut her off.
Lilly sighed in frustration. "Hello? it's obvious. You're like my best friend in the entire world. Besides, you're totally hot."
Veronica felt the heat creep up her neck to her face. Hot. That wasn't a word she would have used to describe herself, exactly. Next to lily, she always felt so plain, so flatchested and dull and maybe "cute"...sure "cute" but..."totally hot"?
She searched Lilly's eyes for signs that she was lying, flattering her to get her to go along with it. Did Lily really think she was hot? Why did it matter if she did?
Lilly's eyes glittered with something Veronica couldn't quite pin down. "Do you even know how often I've thought about kissing you? Not to mention other things. You know the kind of things girls think when they're alone, maybe running a bath, stripped of all clothing..."
Lilly let out a peel of laughter in response to the look on Veronica's face. Lilly loved making Veronica squirm, proving that her general unflappable demeanor was more than capable of being penetrated by a few choice words. She loved a challenge.
Veronica felt her defenses fall to the floor. Lilly was hard to say no to. Why did she have such a hold over her? She had already compromised her integrity more than once in the name of keeping Lily's friendship. Lily had always held all the power. But Veronica never really minded. It was just how things were, it was easier that way.
Being Lilly's friend was worth everything. No one else knew how to have fun like she did. No one else made Veronica feel special in that way of being chosen by someone special for reasons she never quite understood. Even Duncan's love couldn't compare to ... how being Lilly's friend made her feel. Gorgeous, intoxicating Lilly. Irresistible Lilly. Just the thought of touching her, although Veronica hadn't consciously thought of it before, not really...it sent tiny sparks of electricity up and down her spine and well lower places. Was she actually considering this?? Had she lost her mind completely?
"Would Logan and I have to...?"
"No, of course not, the focus would be totally on me. Obviously."
Veronica swallowed. "Would there be... some kind of beverage involved?"
"Isn't there always? Anyway, it's not like cheating. I mean, I'm a girl. Girls so don't count."
Not just a girl. A sister. Sisters might very well count. Still, this was highschool. Lots of people did crazy things in highschool.
"Well, I'll think about it," Veronica said hesitantly.
Lilly squealed and did a little twirl. "I knew it! I totally knew it!"
Veronica felt her blood run cold. "Knew what?"
"Logan bet me you would never go for it. Even I thought it would take more convincing than that..." She shook her head. "God, Veronica, you are totally easy."
Veronica narrowed her eyes at her best friend, studying her. "The only thing you want for your birthday is for me to have a threesome with you and your boyfriend?"
"What? It's Logan, It's not like it's some stranger."
"You don't see how this is creepy?"
Lilly rolled her beautiful blue eyes heavenward. "Please, Veronica, you can be so uptight sometimes."
"What about duncan?"
"Duncan would want me to have an amazing sixteenth birthday."
"That just happened to involve sex with his best friend and his sister?"
"God, do you two tell each other everything? That is so warped. How do you expect to have any mystery in your relationship if you tell each other absolutely -"
"Why me?" Veronica cut her off.
Lilly sighed in frustration. "Hello? it's obvious. You're like my best friend in the entire world. Besides, you're totally hot."
Veronica felt the heat creep up her neck to her face. Hot. That wasn't a word she would have used to describe herself, exactly. Next to lily, she always felt so plain, so flatchested and dull and maybe "cute"...sure "cute" but..."totally hot"?
She searched Lilly's eyes for signs that she was lying, flattering her to get her to go along with it. Did Lily really think she was hot? Why did it matter if she did?
Lilly's eyes glittered with something Veronica couldn't quite pin down. "Do you even know how often I've thought about kissing you? Not to mention other things. You know the kind of things girls think when they're alone, maybe running a bath, stripped of all clothing..."
Lilly let out a peel of laughter in response to the look on Veronica's face. Lilly loved making Veronica squirm, proving that her general unflappable demeanor was more than capable of being penetrated by a few choice words. She loved a challenge.
Veronica felt her defenses fall to the floor. Lilly was hard to say no to. Why did she have such a hold over her? She had already compromised her integrity more than once in the name of keeping Lily's friendship. Lily had always held all the power. But Veronica never really minded. It was just how things were, it was easier that way.
Being Lilly's friend was worth everything. No one else knew how to have fun like she did. No one else made Veronica feel special in that way of being chosen by someone special for reasons she never quite understood. Even Duncan's love couldn't compare to ... how being Lilly's friend made her feel. Gorgeous, intoxicating Lilly. Irresistible Lilly. Just the thought of touching her, although Veronica hadn't consciously thought of it before, not really...it sent tiny sparks of electricity up and down her spine and well lower places. Was she actually considering this?? Had she lost her mind completely?
"Would Logan and I have to...?"
"No, of course not, the focus would be totally on me. Obviously."
Veronica swallowed. "Would there be... some kind of beverage involved?"
"Isn't there always? Anyway, it's not like cheating. I mean, I'm a girl. Girls so don't count."
Not just a girl. A sister. Sisters might very well count. Still, this was highschool. Lots of people did crazy things in highschool.
"Well, I'll think about it," Veronica said hesitantly.
Lilly squealed and did a little twirl. "I knew it! I totally knew it!"
Veronica felt her blood run cold. "Knew what?"
"Logan bet me you would never go for it. Even I thought it would take more convincing than that..." She shook her head. "God, Veronica, you are totally easy."
.
