You Can't Wake, I Can't Sleep

Thought of the incomprehensible sequence of changes and chances that make up a life, all the beauties and horrors and absurdities whose conjunctions create the uninterpretable and yet divinely significant pattern of human destiny.

and

"Floating at the same time on that other surface between here and far away, between then and now," And between remembered happiness, she was thinking, and this insistent, excruciating presence of an absence. "Floating,' she said aloud, "on the surface between the real and the imagined, between what comes to us from the outside, and what comes to use from within, from deep, deep down in here." She laid her hand on his forehead.

and

The physique of a Messiah. But too clever to believe in God or be convinced of his own mission. And too sensitive, even if he were convinced, to carry it out. His muscles would like to act and his feelings would like to believe; but his nerve endings and his cleverness won't allow it.

                                                                                                                                          - Aldous Huxley, Island

Currently reading for Ontd_Lost_Reads .  Can you believe I've never read any Huxley before?? Kind of in love.  Also, finished Walker Percy's Lancelot (sick and twisted and brilliant and skdfjdkljf!!) and am stuck in the middle of Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling for my personal LOST reading project, where I just choose books based on what seem interesting.  And I have to read a CS Lewis book I haven't started yet but looks like a one-nighter for my LOST book club that meets in real life.  So, seriously, I'm moving through the list pretty quickly. Despite having 200 pages of reading due for journalism by Monday, but I'm totally keeping up with that.  Whatever.  Books are my life.  If I ever get married, I'm registering at Barnes and Noble.  For serious.  I think I shall attempt Watership Down next for the mere reason that I'm dreading it, based on the fact that I tried to read it when I was eight, because I saw it among my parents' books and there was a fucking bunny on the cover and I was like "Oh wow! This is going to be an awesome story all about bunnies!" and then I read a good chunk of it and was WTF, this is the most boring bunny adventure story EVER. I think all the social commentary pretty  much went over my tiny head and I went back to reading, like, the Bunnicula books/  Vampire bunny, who can go wrong? I still have The Celery Stalks At Midnight in my room somewhere.  And like...Sleepover Friends or whatever the fuck else I read back then. Oh, that sounds porny!

Also, I think I want to be a copy editor.  So far, that's been my favorite thing about my journalism class - those exercises where you go through sentences and correct grammar and move the words around to make sentences that are more clear and double check the math on statistics related such.  I was copy editor for my high school yearbook, although that was somewhat different.  And I know it's funny because on lj I just kind of ramble and think grammar doesn't really apply to me, and am often fairly incoherent. But i can write well when I care??

"Most actors you see on tv and in film aren't talented so much as there's something about them that makes people want to watch. They're basically up there being themselves, but who they are is someone you can't look away from." - my acting prof

Also, day 23: a Youtube video. Uh, didn't I do that yesterday?? Okay, for a change in pace, bring on the femslash!

Why I watch television on the computer. And why it sucks.

( this is what happens when you tell me a paper can be pretty informal... )

Home from my make-up exam and it went well and I'm feeling better.
I'm noticing a pattern though. Whenever I feel any emotion strongly (good or bad), it kind of stirs up every other emotion I've been repressing. Which is probably overall a good thing, it just leaves me somewhat winded to feel it all at once. I do repress a lot, even though it probably doesn't seem so.

Of course while taking the make up, my inner Cassie was channeled and I was thinking about that make-up exam scene from "Skins" that the lovely Elisabeth had recently posted (and which my icon is from!) -

( Is it possible to truly enjoy power? )

I'm doing a project on fan videos and looking for some personal experiences to mix in with articles and such.

If you have anything coherent to say about how making and/or watching fan videos has increased your enjoyment and/or understanding of a movie or television show, I will quote your ass! Also if you have a favorite vidder and can say a little about what their makes their vids great. If you make videos, are there certain vidders who are inspirational to you? What do you think makes a fan video great?

Additionally, have you ever been been inspired to try watching a new television show or a movie because of a fan video somebody posted ?

How do you compare fan videos to fan fiction ? Which do you find more enjoyable to create and which to watch/read?

How do you find most of the videos you watch?

Have you stopped posting at youtube since the most recent music crackdown? Have you used audioswap to keep videos up or just moved them if you've been contacted by youtube about music violations?

I want to post this in communities too but I'm not sure if that would be okay or not :/

"Other Boleyn Girl" such - OMG!!! Jane Parker suggesting that all three siblings have naughty secret threeways?? Thanks for that...I can't concentrate on anything now!! so hot so hot so hot omg *feverdaydreams*...........

So I haven't written a proper paper for an English lit class in so long, I seriously don't remember how. Like how to weave in the quotes and use them as evidence and such, how to back up my points or like how to structure it. Has anyone written a paper comparing two poems recently that I can look at?? I'm totally stuck.

I watched "2:37"(Australian film) last night and it was really quite brilliant but there's a very graphic suicide scene in it which was a little upsetting. Also a rape scene that was pretty upsetting. Actually the whole movie was upsetting but it was also really clever and well done.

I am sleepin' on the floor of my sister's dorm hehe
Listening to "Ava Adore" too much is making me wanna make dark!snape/lily vid...i dunno clips to use for teen thems....
"Dexter" tomorrow!! My sociopath lover and his hot (clueless) sister!
I'm excited about this project I'm making for school...it is....a movie poster for "Keep Sharp Projects Away" (my screenplay) and it is mostly done! Expert casting!! Kindof tasteless! Graphic design is so my zen peaceful happy place.
Working on the poster has made me wanna start working on the actual splay again...hrms
For my final project I am putting together an illustrated poetry chapbook of me words! I'm psyched to start picking out poems and I already know the picture I'm using for the cover!! I need to make more graphics and drawings and stuffs!
And I have this other thing due on Tuesday but it's boring so I'm leaving it to the last minute ha

from overheard in new york thing:

Girl on cell: First class? Fuck first class...You just get out here, and I will fuck you two ways from Sunday and you won't even remember the seats on the plane.

--Hunter West Building, 68th & Lexington

***

"i just get the feeling like my life lacks forward momentum you know? like it seems like it's moving so quickly, time just seems to stop" - paul, "rules of attraction"

I can't remember if that was in the book but this was the best BE Ellis book ever, because it was the only one I've read so far that had *heart*.

American Psycho and Less Than Zero were just so...removed, they didn't make me feel anything or care about anybody.

I actually cared about the characters in Rules of Attraction, even when they were mostly apathetic assholes, there was still something there that made me hope they found happiness. Some vulnerability, some need. Something really human.

I can't connect with the characters in his other books, which is a shame, because they're such clever books.

Kate Bosworth used to be really beautiful. Now she's just emaciated.

Remember her and Ian Somerhalder and "Shane" from the L Word all in that show "Young Americans"?? That was the most bizarre show.

Boone and Shane as a couple hehe