You Can't Wake, I Can't Sleep

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Eeyore. I'm pretty woebegone. And also a friend has told me I'm Eeyore, so I'll take their word.

"I knew even then that I was destined for a life of cinema. It seemed more real to me than real life, sometimes. As soon as I could walk I discovered cable and began to watch the classics. The parents could not get me away from the screen. The first word I learned was "Rosebud." I imitated Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, waltzing around the living room. I tried walking like Charlie Chaplin. When Marilyn was on I didn't do anything. I just sat there with my hands stretched out trying to touch her. Why was she just electric static? I thought she'd be as warm and silky as she looked. "

You are Violet from the book Violet and Claire! Violet is a driven and passionate screenwriter who knows how to get her way.

http://daynadesastre.com/quiz/quizflb.html

I felt an unrelenting restlessness. It was the first time I had ever experienced jealousy, and that emotion clung to my skin day and night like a dark stain, a contamination I could not shed; it became so unbearable that when finally I rid myself of it, I was freed forever of the desire to possess another person or the temptation to ever to belong to anyone. From the instant I saw Kamal I was deranged; my nerves were raw, chafed by the supreme pleasure of loving him and the unendurable ache of loving him in vain. I followed him everywhere, like a shadow, I waited on him; I made him the hero of my solitary fantasies. But he ignored me completely.

- Eva Luna by Isabel Allende

Hither

Up all night reading Escape by Carolyn Jessop about her her escape from an FLDS compound! At 18, she was the fourth wife of a fifty-year old man. And when she ran away, she had eight kids to take with her! Eeeeks.

"Other Boleyn Girl" such - OMG!!! Jane Parker suggesting that all three siblings have naughty secret threeways?? Thanks for that...I can't concentrate on anything now!! so hot so hot so hot omg *feverdaydreams*...........

So I haven't written a proper paper for an English lit class in so long, I seriously don't remember how. Like how to weave in the quotes and use them as evidence and such, how to back up my points or like how to structure it. Has anyone written a paper comparing two poems recently that I can look at?? I'm totally stuck.

I watched "2:37"(Australian film) last night and it was really quite brilliant but there's a very graphic suicide scene in it which was a little upsetting. Also a rape scene that was pretty upsetting. Actually the whole movie was upsetting but it was also really clever and well done.

I love many dark and awful characters and it's because on some level I identify - I think with Jenny it's the same, which is why you should never ever trust someone who likes Jenny. =P It's the measure of a person. - someone in L Word group

In a way, that makes sense. On the other hand, I think I am extremely trustworthy. So um fuck that!
I mean, you could easily say that about Snape fans. But I don't think that's true either.
I think people who feel misunderstood just gravitate towards characters they feel are also misunderstood.

Okay so after the initial excitement of the screenplay outline, I realized how tired I am of the whole damn thing and that seven years is just too long to be working on something as short as a screenplay - obviously, something hasn't been clicking. I just need to let it go with love and embrace the new. Hopefully a novel of some sort.

These are some books I can read 8,000 times and underline the hell out of and never get tired of -

girl walking backwards, the wrestling party - bett williams
love is the drug - sarahbeth purcell
america the beautiful - moon zappa
wasted - marya hornbacher
prozac nation - elizabeth wurtzel
just checking - emily colas (the best book about ocd ever)
suicide blonde - darcy steinke

(strangely enough, i haven't really liked any of steinke's other books)

my favorite books in highschool were hey dollface and second star to the right both by debra hautzig. hey dollface was the first teen lesbiany book (well any) i had ever read and it's so good. and of course cat's eye by margaret atwood. cat's eye kindof ruled my universe in ninth grade and i made my school best friend, aimee, read it and we passed notes about it in government class. in middle school, i really loved ruth rendell mystery novels.

in sixth grade when i first transferred to hewitt my teachers used to confiscate my books because i would sit by myself and read at lunch in lieu of making friends. the same thing happened to my friend-to-be amanda, who transferred the same year and sometimes we would just sit together and read our books and ignore each other which i thought was bonding enough but alas no. regardless, a great friendship was born which lasted like ten years.

so basically i'm trying to keep myself awake after having stayed up all night so i'm rambling about random things to bore you with.

Pick a fandom, yo!

[1] Pick a fandom you know I know about, and I’ll tell you:

1. The character most likely to fall in love with the wrong person
2. The character whom I'm embarrassed to admit I adore
3. The character that would send me screaming in the opposite direction in real life, despite being fascinating in fiction
4. The character with the most annoying personality quirks
5. The character I most admire and why
6. The character with the worst temper
7. The character most likely to fail at everything
8. The pairings I prefer in canon
9. The pairings I prefer in fanon
10. The character with the most personal growth in canon

[2] Pick a fandom you know I know about, and I'll tell you:

01. The first character I fell in love with
02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now
03. The character everyone else loves that I don't
04. The character I love that everyone else hates
05. The character I used to love but don't any longer
06. The character I would shag anytime
07. The character I'd want to be like
08. The character I'd slap
09. A pairing that I love
10. A pairing that I hate

What the hell?

I WANT TO SEE MEROPE!!!!!!! She is my (kinda morally screwy) love !!! I even meant to make an I <3 Merope icon but then I realized I was too lazy and didn't.

This was only the most interesting part of the damn book and essential to Voldemort's character.

This movie is going to be terrible romantic comedy crapness. Woot.

Anyway, I saw Brand New last night. They mostly played stuff off the new album which I just dled today. oops. Also, it was a really annoying crowd. Two guys got into a fight about shoving and one of them called the other a fucking faggot (lovely) and this effing couple kept leaning on me to make out and i wanted to killllll them!! Like stop making out on top of me, I didn't come here for a threesome kthnxbi.

This girl there was like Mary's long lost twin though. It was pretty freaky. She even had the same mannerisms and my sister totally thought it was her.

"Round the Clock" has awesome food for a twenty four hourish place!!

Crashing at my sister's dorm two nights in a row without having my pills with me is really very stupid.

Today I was comatose.