and also...

[iphigenia]

sometimes people pretend they want to be my friend
and then totally ignore me when i wave at them, ignore me on aim etc.

this is rude and cruel and makes me hate everybody.

like, i would never act all chummybondy with someone and then totally avoid them. that is a seriously messed up thing to do. and inconsiderate.

in fact, it makes me sorry i even try.
like if you had any idea how hard it is for me to even have a conversation with another person..

i don't know why so many ppl are so keen to fuck with my head but in the end it will come back on them. i mean i hope it does. it probably won't.

maybe i'm being melodramatic but i've taken enough shit from ppl to grow enough corn to feed an entire starving nation.

and i suppose i have been left a tad volatile by it all.

i'm pretty sure you know who you are and i would really appreciate a response, thank you.

b.

Ä

Comments

[venusflesh.livejournal.com]

It isn't me right?? *paranoid* lol

[rosablanca.livejournal.com]

that is indeed cruel, but don't let that undermine your confidence and the fact that you still can and have the right to meet new people, it's hard to find true friends, but i think it's really worth trying.

xox

[frasia.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD. That totally happened to me today. I've been spiralling down due to it ever since. And it's like, I don't want to care what other people do. But the fact of the matter is that today I have NO ONE!!! NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So what else am i supposed to think about.

but this sort of thing keeps happening to me since i got here. i don't really trust anyone anymore.

and yeah... it never comes back to them.

i hardly ever try with people. i fucking hate people. but when i do i am so sorry that their life is probably at stake.

so who is fucking with you today? tiffany or willa?

[bethanychaulke.livejournal.com]

not tiffany. a handful of others. butterflyprincess would be willa, yes.

you see.

the irony is.

i want not to care more than anyone.

but in reality i care so much more than the average person.

tis my downfall truly.

my other downfall is my lack of poker face.

ppl can tell i will ultimately turn clingy and needy and too hypersensitive and run screaming away from me.

they can tell i am volatile, mercurial, hot tempered, melodramatic, unpredictable and more trouble than i'm worth.

motherfuckers.

see while these are all prize qualities i seek out in my friends hehe (truly, i do tho)....the rest of the world just wants those who won't be too much of a bother, truly.

once again. motherfuckers.

grr.

maybe i can get the weekend off so it will be easier for us to play.

hapmay.

b.

:p

[frasia.livejournal.com]

see if you can! that would be great! then i could definitely come!

& yeah. i like sensitive clingy people too, most of the time.

but i don't know why people don't like me since i am pretty sure i don't come across like that in real life at all. and i'm not sure if i do online most of the time, either. i have a complete poker face. i think people just think i'm emotionless or something. and they'd be right - most of the time i am. but no one is completely emotionless, so it erupts here and there, and when it does, watch out.

i think you're cute. people can fuck off.

[ineffable-me.livejournal.com]

do you know that people suck?
i think you do.
=)