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Kate felt her face flush when the bell rang. Claire must have forgotten her keys again. She suddenly felt profoundly stupid staring into the bathroom mirror. What was she even doing? She wearing make up and a...dress (one of two she even owned). For Claire. Her hair was freshly washed and fell in soft waves framing her face. She'd even sprayed herself with some of Claire's perfume. It just seemed...appropriate. With the dinner and the flowers already on the table in a vase. It would be...nice...to have a...nice...dinner. And Claire deserved nice things. Between school and raising Aaron, she'd been run ragged lately, living on coffee with dark circles under her eyes. Sometimes, she rushed out in the mornings forgetting to brush her hair, and Kate was reminded of how she'd found her once in that other life. How they'd held hands on the plane coming back and Kate had thought, "Please keep me around. Even when you don't need me anymore. Please don't stop needing me." Kate would chase after her with her hairbrush or her car keys or her wallet, whatever she'd forgotten in her zombified state, and Claire always hugged her and kissed her on the cheek, laughing and saying she'd be lost without her.
Kate took a deep breath and walked towards the door, opening it slowly.
"Sawyer!"
"What? I brought beer." Her old friend, ex-lover...Sawyer, her Sawyer, gestured at the six pack dangling from his hand. He was dropping by more and more. She could tell he was lonely. Like her, he was having trouble readjusting to "the real world" and wasn't doing much of anything other than living off the Oceanic settlement. And drinking beer. Well, she was taking care of Aaron and that pretty much felt like a full-time job, but whenever Claire mentioned her maybe going back to school too or volunteering somewhere just to get out of the house, since they could afford help with Aaron, she found herself changing the subject. The idea of any commitment still made her edgy. She liked to think she could just leave at any time, should she have the impulse, though, deep down, she knew that was no longer true. She had made that choice at some point without realizing it and maybe it wasn't even exactly a choice, but something that had just happened. Still, she and Sawyer remained the outsiders, dwelling on the outskirts of "real life," keeping their contact with non-Oceanic survivors to a minimum, afraid to return to being who they were before the crash. It had only taken Claire a few months of therapy to get relatively back to her old self, surprisingly. But three years of damage was not a lifetime of damage, and Kate didn't believe in therapy. For her. Paying to tell some stranger her deepest, darkest secrets and innermost feelings wasn't really her style.
"Well, aren't you gonna invite me in, Freckles?"
Kate took the beer and moved out of the way so he could come in. He immediately made himself at home on the sofa, turned on the tv and put his feet up on the coffee table.
"You can't keep coming over unannounced like this," Kate sighed. "Claire will be home any minute."
"What's the matter? She doesn't like my company anymore?"
"She'll be tired and probably-"
"Hey, can you bring me one of those beers?"
"Your feet are on the coffee table. Again."
Now, he turned to look at her curiously. She felt herself squirming inwardly beneath his gaze. He was too good at reading her.
"Well, now, wait just a goddamn minute." A slow, smug smile was spreading itself across his face. "You're wearing a dress. And you're not in a cage."
"Very funny. I wear dresses sometimes."
"No, you don't. And you're all made up. You're looking to get laid tonight!"
"Get out." The heat was rising in her face. She was most certainly NOT looking to get laid! That was the most preposterous, ridiculous assumption ever!
"It's been awhile, huh?" he chuckled.
"I mean it, Sawyer. Get out." She glowered.
"Fine, I'll clear out so you can get all naked and sweaty. Just tell me who the lucky fellow is."
"There is no lucky fellow, not that it's any of your business."
"Yeah, and I'm-" but whatever witty or not so witty comeback he was about to make lodged in his throat. His eyes widened. "No way..."
"Do I have to physically remove you from this apartment? I can, you know."
"Well, sonofabitch." He shook his head in amazement, laughing to himself. "I should have known. You and Claire - playing Aaron Has Two Mommies. You're just full of surprises, ain't you?"
"It's not like that," she said quietly.
"But you're looking to make it like that." He grinned knowingly.
"No! Of course not!"
They stared at each other in silence. Claire would be annoyed if he was still here when she got back. She never said that exactly, but she tended to get snappish.
"Yes, you figured me out. I'm planning to seduce Claire and then we're going to have hot, lesbian porn star sex. Probably on the dining room table. Or the kitchen floor. Then we're going to move into the bedroom and have a pillow fight."
"Well, I wouldn't want to stand in the way of a beautiful thing like that. But I do want details. And possibly a video."
They both laughed uneasily. He started walking towards the door.
"Wait," she said. He spun around. Their eyes locked.
"I'm...really confused," she said so softly he barely heard her. "What am I even doing?"
He smiled at her affectionately, all boyish dimples. "Something tells me you'll figure it out. You always do, Freckles."
"Thanks," she said shakily. She suddenly felt like running over and falling into his arms, as she'd done so many times in the past, burying her face in his neck, breathing in his smell. Safe, familiar.
But it was so selfish, so unfair. So, instead she smiled and waved good night, and then he was gone and she was alone, left to wait anxiously, feeling awkward and silly in her stupid dress with her stupid painted face and her stupid confusion.
Kate took a deep breath and walked towards the door, opening it slowly.
"Sawyer!"
"What? I brought beer." Her old friend, ex-lover...Sawyer, her Sawyer, gestured at the six pack dangling from his hand. He was dropping by more and more. She could tell he was lonely. Like her, he was having trouble readjusting to "the real world" and wasn't doing much of anything other than living off the Oceanic settlement. And drinking beer. Well, she was taking care of Aaron and that pretty much felt like a full-time job, but whenever Claire mentioned her maybe going back to school too or volunteering somewhere just to get out of the house, since they could afford help with Aaron, she found herself changing the subject. The idea of any commitment still made her edgy. She liked to think she could just leave at any time, should she have the impulse, though, deep down, she knew that was no longer true. She had made that choice at some point without realizing it and maybe it wasn't even exactly a choice, but something that had just happened. Still, she and Sawyer remained the outsiders, dwelling on the outskirts of "real life," keeping their contact with non-Oceanic survivors to a minimum, afraid to return to being who they were before the crash. It had only taken Claire a few months of therapy to get relatively back to her old self, surprisingly. But three years of damage was not a lifetime of damage, and Kate didn't believe in therapy. For her. Paying to tell some stranger her deepest, darkest secrets and innermost feelings wasn't really her style.
"Well, aren't you gonna invite me in, Freckles?"
Kate took the beer and moved out of the way so he could come in. He immediately made himself at home on the sofa, turned on the tv and put his feet up on the coffee table.
"You can't keep coming over unannounced like this," Kate sighed. "Claire will be home any minute."
"What's the matter? She doesn't like my company anymore?"
"She'll be tired and probably-"
"Hey, can you bring me one of those beers?"
"Your feet are on the coffee table. Again."
Now, he turned to look at her curiously. She felt herself squirming inwardly beneath his gaze. He was too good at reading her.
"Well, now, wait just a goddamn minute." A slow, smug smile was spreading itself across his face. "You're wearing a dress. And you're not in a cage."
"Very funny. I wear dresses sometimes."
"No, you don't. And you're all made up. You're looking to get laid tonight!"
"Get out." The heat was rising in her face. She was most certainly NOT looking to get laid! That was the most preposterous, ridiculous assumption ever!
"It's been awhile, huh?" he chuckled.
"I mean it, Sawyer. Get out." She glowered.
"Fine, I'll clear out so you can get all naked and sweaty. Just tell me who the lucky fellow is."
"There is no lucky fellow, not that it's any of your business."
"Yeah, and I'm-" but whatever witty or not so witty comeback he was about to make lodged in his throat. His eyes widened. "No way..."
"Do I have to physically remove you from this apartment? I can, you know."
"Well, sonofabitch." He shook his head in amazement, laughing to himself. "I should have known. You and Claire - playing Aaron Has Two Mommies. You're just full of surprises, ain't you?"
"It's not like that," she said quietly.
"But you're looking to make it like that." He grinned knowingly.
"No! Of course not!"
They stared at each other in silence. Claire would be annoyed if he was still here when she got back. She never said that exactly, but she tended to get snappish.
"Yes, you figured me out. I'm planning to seduce Claire and then we're going to have hot, lesbian porn star sex. Probably on the dining room table. Or the kitchen floor. Then we're going to move into the bedroom and have a pillow fight."
"Well, I wouldn't want to stand in the way of a beautiful thing like that. But I do want details. And possibly a video."
They both laughed uneasily. He started walking towards the door.
"Wait," she said. He spun around. Their eyes locked.
"I'm...really confused," she said so softly he barely heard her. "What am I even doing?"
He smiled at her affectionately, all boyish dimples. "Something tells me you'll figure it out. You always do, Freckles."
"Thanks," she said shakily. She suddenly felt like running over and falling into his arms, as she'd done so many times in the past, burying her face in his neck, breathing in his smell. Safe, familiar.
But it was so selfish, so unfair. So, instead she smiled and waved good night, and then he was gone and she was alone, left to wait anxiously, feeling awkward and silly in her stupid dress with her stupid painted face and her stupid confusion.
