I think I'm going to throw up...

It's just so fucking obvious.

I am such a dumbfuck. I have been missing her so deep my heart stings..and...

She's already replaced me.

I can tell.

None of this was real, it's all a lie..

I can't handle this.

I acted all flirty and she barely reacted.

*sobs*

it's all over.

there's my closure.

i think i want to die.

hope has now left the building.

i am nothing, i have nothing without her.

i can't breathe.

i told her to call me tonight and she said "i'll do my best..or try my best" or something.

and she said she hasn't been calling cuz she's sick and has homework but that's BULLSHIT. if you want to talk to someone, you take five minutes out of your day to pick up a phone and call them!!

i'm all caught up in some labrynth of her half-truths again and i'm choking on it.

after everything we went through.

and this is how it ends.

all our dreams vanished as tho they were never here.

maybe they were only mine.

only mine.

love might be a lie but pain is real..

how could she? i don't understand. i don't. she said she loved me...

we will never be lindsay and melanie, now, and there will never be a little tara and it's all fading.

*sobs*

~b.

goddess natalie

"you dumped me when i had no friends here!!!
when i had nothing!!!" - natalie balsam, "one life to live"

and. that.
is just how i feel.

~b.

"i can't even see if this is really me and i just want to be alive"...

don't fucking pretend you care
don't taunt me with the old nicknames
and expressions
they mean nothing now

you must think i'm really stupid.

userinfo

i have redone my userinfo to better suit my state of mood.

enjoy =)

b.

she said

she said she would die without me, that i was her life.

but she already had a life. filled with friends and plans and everything a life should have.

i was the one who had nothing. who was lost before she found me.

and i am not willow.

i have no bestfriend, no group of friends.

no one to lend me their strength.

aside from my family, noone gives a shit about me.

and so she can go running back to her community and her whole little mapped-out cozy safe existence and i can go back to the Hell i had been living and she can pretend none of this ever happened and i can walk away with nothing and noone and i can't forget her like she's forgotten me cuz i have nothing else to live for.