1. Crosses - Jose Gonzales
2. Inconceivable - Leah Andreone
3. Overlap - Ani diFranco
4. Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift
5. Anticlimax - Kat Flint
6. Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
7. Power of Two (acoustic) - Indigo Girls
Comments are lurve, always!
Notes: Kinda incredibly sappy. That's me :p
"I just ran into Sawyer downstairs and he WINKED at me! And then I asked if he was going round to Miles' and Richard's place tonight, because we never returned their ricer, and he got all snappy and said he didn't go round their place EVERY night, and he had his own life and his own 'stuff to do', but I could tell he was going over there and - oh." Claire blinked and stared at Kate. "You look-"
Kate reached up and touched her hair self consciously, biting her lip.
"You look... amazing."
"I...thank you." She smiled.
"You always look amazing though, you know," Claire finished quietly.
"I made tacos," Kate blurted out. "I mean, they're probably cold now, but I can reheat them."
"No, I'm sure they're wonderful." Claire was smiling, flushed, and her eyes were tired but shining, ocean blue, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders, moonlight-colored lovely, and Kate realized she'd never really seen her before. Never noticed how impossibly pretty she was, all creamy skin and warm smiles, how she was all lit up from within, as though bathed in a soft glow. It wasn't just the way she looked- it was, like, her aura. Oh what a creepy, hippie Dharma Initiative-y word! Had Claire always looked like that? Or was it just now? Or was it only when she was looking at...her? Snap out of it, Kate, she told herself. She began walking towards the dining room, and Claire followed.
She heard a faint gasp. "Kate!" Claire chirped in her adorable accent, which always made it sound more like she was saying "Kite."
Kate spun around and Claire was on her all at once, hugging her tightly. "Daisies!! You bought daisies!!" she squealed. Then she broke off and giggled. "And you smell like me!"
"Oh, I borrowed some of your perfume. I hope that's okay."
"Of course it's okay! How did you know...?"
"Aaron told me you liked them."
"That's funny. I don't think I-" Claire paused. "Thank you, Kate!! I could just kiss you right now!"
Kate's mouth dropped open.
"Oh, I didn't mean..."
"Tacos," Kate gestured at the table, her heart beating fast.
"You didn't have to do all this, you know," Claire said, sitting down.
"But I wanted to," Kate smiled. "Having you and Aaron around is like. It's almost like having a family."
"Well, we are your family," Claire smiled back warmly. "And you're our family. So, you know, we're not going anywhere. Not without you."
Kate blinked back tears. That kind of sentence should have made her feel trapped, restless, ready to run, but she didn't feel any of those things. She sat down and watched Claire merrily digging into her dinner, and knew she was exactly where she wanted to be.
"6th avenue heartache" - the wallflowers
And the same black line that was drawn on you
Was drawn on me
And now it's drawn me in
"take care" - copeland
It was a straight faced lie
It was a straight faced lie
You would ever leave me...
I'll take care of you oh
Have faith that when you call my name
I'll be there
I'll be right there
So keep breathing oh
Keep that sweet heart of yours beating
I'll be right there
"gravity" (live) - sara bareilles
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
"back to you" - john mayer
back to you
it always comes around
back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late...
leave the light on
I'll never give up on you...
back to me
I know that it comes
back to me
doesn't it scare you
your will is not as strong
as it used to be
"lonelily" - damien rice
And you let me down
You could have knocked off the evening
But you lonelily let him push under your bone
You let me down
It's no use deceiving
Neither of us wanna be alone
You're coming home, you're coming home
"the lighthouse song" - josh pyke
So we are moving to a lighthouse, you and I
While seas drown sailors, we'll be locked up safe and dry
And though our doors may knock and rattle in the wind
I'll just hold you tight and we'll not let those fuckers in
Comments are always so much love! :)
Kate Austen! And wondering whyyyy what how when HUH?!
Day 28 — Your favorite thing about LOST
Day 29 — What do you plan on doing now that LOST is over?
Reading all the books ever referenced on LOST :)
And writing fanfic to fill in the story gaps.
And making fanmixes. And re-tumblring other ppl's LOST picspams.
And really the fandom's just gonna thrive forever, it seems like.
oooo or maybe the answer to this should be "get a life"?
yeah, that's not gonna happen...sorry.
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy
This song is always stuck in my head and it makes me happy.
"And don't get a DUI and don't get a DUI and don't get a DUI..."
Kate chewed on her lip nervously. She could tell Aaron was in a "mood." Being a mother never seemed to get easier.
"Did you have a nice time at Mark's?" she finally asked.
"I guess," Aaron said sulkily. He looked down at his lap. "Mark is like me."
"Trouble, you mean?" Kate joked, ruffling his blonde hair, soft and fine like Claire's. She had worried the play date might be confusing for him.
"I have two moms, and Mark has two dads."
"That's right," Kate said with a smile. She braced herself for the questions that lay ahead.
"But...his dads sleep in the same bed. And sometimes, they kiss."
"Well, there are lots of different kinds of family situations-" Kate began. She had rehearsed this speech already.
"Why don't you love Mama Claire?" Aaron looked at her accusingly now.
"What?" She hadn't anticipated that particular question. "Well, I love your Mama very much, it's just-"
"Not like Mark's dads."
"We have a very different relationship. There are all kinds of relationships and..." she trailed off. She sounded so condescending, and she wasn't sure how she meant to end the sentence anyway. Sawyer once said that kids could smell bullshit a mile away, and she still didn't see how his dropping in on Clementine on weekends at his convenience qualified him to give her parenting advice after all her years raising Aaron, but whatever. He had a point. Arrogant bastard, she thought to herself, somewhat affectionately. Aaron was looking at her with irritation now.
"Why is it different? Don't you think my Mom's pretty and nice?"
Kate laughed nervously. A silly question. Claire was beautiful and amazing and strong and sweet and wonderful, wonderful...
"Why can't you just be like normal parents?"
Only in L.A., Kate thought to herself.
"Maybe if you brought her flowers or something," Aaron continued. "She would like that. Mark's dads do that sometimes."
Kate envisioned Claire's face lighting up, home from her classes and exhausted and...flowers. Yes, Claire loved those, and she loved surprises. Well, good ones. It wasn't the worst idea.
"She likes daisies," Aaron said, staring at Kate intently the way he did sometimes that freaked her out a little.
"And how do you know that?"
"Because!" he rolled his eyes. "She's my MOM! She tells me things."
"Okay, okay, we'll stop off and get her some daisies then," Kate smiled at him.
"She likes when you make tacos. And when you wear your hair down and it's, like...not curly...but...like..." Aaron twisted his own hair with his fingers.
"Messy," Aaron said decisively. "And she likes when you laugh a lot and your eyes get all crinkly like this." Aaron squinted. It was pretty adorable, but the whole conversation was unnerving.
"And she said all this to you?"
"No," Aaron shrugged. "I just know." He grew quiet again.
Aaron seemed to "just know" a lot of things lately, but she and Claire never discussed it. They didn't discuss a lot of things, it seemed.
And I started like a little post-island "Aaron has two mommies" fic in my head, but I can't seem to actually write it. Boo!
Oh right. The meme!! I missed a day, so Days 25 and 26.
Favorite Lost Actor and Favorite Lost Actress. Well, I'm sure you can guess!
But ooo I found a pic that covers both in a very appealing way, so here -
Josh Holloway and Evangeline Lilly <3!
If this doesn't make you cry, I hate you. Just kidding.
Whatever Tickles Your Fancy:
Once, during season 4, I had a dream that Josh Holloway hung himself and it was terribly sad, but then it turned out it was all a set up and he had been murdered...by Mary-Kate Olsen. And then The Life and Times of Jeremy Bentham happened and it was weird. But it would have been weirder if John Locke were murdered...by Ben...who was really...Mary-Kate Olsen :p
I also had a creepy dream about Brittany Murphy in '05 where she turned into Mary-Kate Olsen and then disappeared into a sea of people and I couldn't find her, and now Brittany Murphy is dead (the dream was before the whole Heath thing too...) Mary-Kate Olsen is clearly a harbinger of deaths, both actual and fictional. Ha!
Thought of the incomprehensible sequence of changes and chances that make up a life, all the beauties and horrors and absurdities whose conjunctions create the uninterpretable and yet divinely significant pattern of human destiny.
"Floating at the same time on that other surface between here and far away, between then and now," And between remembered happiness, she was thinking, and this insistent, excruciating presence of an absence. "Floating,' she said aloud, "on the surface between the real and the imagined, between what comes to us from the outside, and what comes to use from within, from deep, deep down in here." She laid her hand on his forehead.
The physique of a Messiah. But too clever to believe in God or be convinced of his own mission. And too sensitive, even if he were convinced, to carry it out. His muscles would like to act and his feelings would like to believe; but his nerve endings and his cleverness won't allow it.
Currently reading for Ontd_Lost_Reads . Can you believe I've never read any Huxley before?? Kind of in love. Also, finished Walker Percy's Lancelot (sick and twisted and brilliant and skdfjdkljf!!) and am stuck in the middle of Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling for my personal LOST reading project, where I just choose books based on what seem interesting. And I have to read a CS Lewis book I haven't started yet but looks like a one-nighter for my LOST book club that meets in real life. So, seriously, I'm moving through the list pretty quickly. Despite having 200 pages of reading due for journalism by Monday, but I'm totally keeping up with that. Whatever. Books are my life. If I ever get married, I'm registering at Barnes and Noble. For serious. I think I shall attempt Watership Down next for the mere reason that I'm dreading it, based on the fact that I tried to read it when I was eight, because I saw it among my parents' books and there was a fucking bunny on the cover and I was like "Oh wow! This is going to be an awesome story all about bunnies!" and then I read a good chunk of it and was WTF, this is the most boring bunny adventure story EVER. I think all the social commentary pretty much went over my tiny head and I went back to reading, like, the Bunnicula books/ Vampire bunny, who can go wrong? I still have The Celery Stalks At Midnight in my room somewhere. And like...Sleepover Friends or whatever the fuck else I read back then. Oh, that sounds porny!
Also, I think I want to be a copy editor. So far, that's been my favorite thing about my journalism class - those exercises where you go through sentences and correct grammar and move the words around to make sentences that are more clear and double check the math on statistics related such. I was copy editor for my high school yearbook, although that was somewhat different. And I know it's funny because on lj I just kind of ramble and think grammar doesn't really apply to me, and am often fairly incoherent. But i can write well when I care??
This is officially canon now!!!
(um, in my head).
Oh, familyness!! Oh touching!!!
It makes me sad to think that eventually they may have all drifted apart to separate themselves from the trauma and survivor guilt. This version, for the fucking win.
Esp. visiting Sun and Jin's kidlet and telling her how amazing her parents were!!
And I've always shipped future Aaron and Clementine haha
And, in a way, Sawyer and Kate as lifelong best friends doesn't really feel like less than them being romantically involved, because sometimes I think friendships can actually be deeper. I loved their *connection* most of all, and I'd love it in any form. Love is love. And if they wound up romantically together but in love with other people they couldn't get over, that seems sad. But you love different people in different ways and I don't think there's just one person for every person, so even if Jack/Kate and Suliet are canon endgame, they could have still had a lovely romantic relationship off island.
I'd like to think traumatic events can bond people, instead of driving them apart. I hope they all stayed together like that, a family, the only people who could really understand certain aspects of each others' lives because no one else shared them. And...they all needed family so badly, didn't they?? So the happiest ending (in this life) is them all (Kate, Claire, Sawyer, Miles, Richard, Frank and by extension Aaron, Clementine, Cassidy, Ji Yeon) finding that with each other and not letting go.
Aaron, Clementine, Ji Yeon all playing together is a wonderful image and then I think of them being friends when they're older and just so much aw! Makes me want to write fanfic. Oh dear.
Also...just... soooo much more interesting.
"Sundown" is one of my top 2 fave episodes.
Sooo deliciously haunting!!!
Also, how hot/badass was Kate taking that gun off the dead guy like nothing doing? And the fact she was following Claire, sticking with her.
Also, moment of truth: I found feral!Claire really ridiculously hot. The crazy, the tangled hair, the dirtiness, the creepy singing... skdfjdklsjfds! It's not just you, Miles :p
And Kate was really beautiful in that episode too. I mean, always, but especially so. What is it about dirty girls with guns and/or crazy? lolz.
That Jack dreamed the entire show while he was lying delirious in the jungle dying and all the characters were just people he had seen on the plane who his mind created back stories and even names for and everything. Which would make sense in a way because a lot of their issues did mirror his own - issues with parents and the struggle for control within chaos and then that would be how he got to fulfill his own deepest longing with needing to fix everything and save everyone by being Island Keeper. This would explain why there were so many things that felt like plot holes and unanswered questions. Also, I like the idea that each character maybe represented a different part of Jack's psyche. Kate killed her abusive dad, maybe part of Jack wished he had...Charlie was addicted to heroin, Jack was addicted to pain pills in the flash forward so perhaps he had been before...Hurley and Libby were in the psych ward, Jack exhibited a tenuous grasp on reality when he became obsessed with his ex wife and thought she was sleeping with his dad. Etc. Etc. It would also explain why so many names were so symbolic.
I know it's a huge cliche, but (as ex-psychology major) I love the idea of the unconscious and how different issues are played out there and what different people might represent etc. etc. Like in those episodes of Buffy and Charmed, where reality became kind of a question, and ultimately Buffy chose to stay in Sunnydale reality but it was still left open-ended as to whether that actually was reality.
Anyway, I don't actually believe this theory at all, or that it's what the writers intended and it would have pissed off everybody if that had been the ending, but then I feel like the way they ended it, intentional or not, did leave that potentially open to interpretation, and it's just something fun to think about. The plane going overhead could have been just another plane, as the Oceanic could have crashed on some not so desolate island in the middle of nowhere, just an island.
So, I guess that would be...my theory (I mean some of the specific details, at least)? My theory that I don't believe in lol
Then again, the people who did hate the finale...would that have been better or worse??
I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
He told me that I'd done all right
And kissed me until the morning light, the morning light
And he kissed me until the morning light...
And the history books forgot about us
Bible FUCKING FINALE didn't mention us
Not even once
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first